Before the worst
by story teller K
Summary: Songfic
1. Chapter 1

_**It's been a while since the two of us talked  
>About a week since the day you walked<br>Knowing things would never be the same  
>With your empty heart and mine full of pain<br>So explain to me, how it came to this  
>Take it back to the night we kissed<br>It was Dublin city on a Friday night  
>You were vodkas and cokes, I was Guinness all night<strong>_

It has been five months since I left SVU and I miss it with every fibre of my body but I can't stand to see him everyday it was killing me. I had no choice I had to leave.

**We were sitting with our backs against the world  
><strong>_**Saying things that we thought but never heard  
>Who would have thought it would end up like this?<br>Where everything we talked about is gone  
>And the only chance we have of moving on<strong>_

_**Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong**_**  
><strong>_**Before the worst, before we met  
>Before our hearts decide<br>It's time to love again  
>Before too late, before too long<br>Lets try to take it back  
>Before it all went wrong<strong>_

I really thought he would be different, I guess I was stupid to think like that in the first place. I am destin to end up alone. I have been lied to and told "our feelings dont matter", used and completelty freaked out freaked out by how into my job some guys are. I really thought he was my mr right, god everyone said it. I dont know where we went wrong.

_**There was a time, that we'd stay up all night  
>Best friends talking 'til the daylight<br>Took the joys alongside the pain  
>With not much to lose but so much to gain<strong>_**  
><strong>

We had been partners and best friends for eleven years. We knew each other inside and out, confided in each other our hopes dreams and biggest secrets. I was his stability, he was my my world, my everything. The sound of his voice, the slightest touch reassured me everything would be ok. We were Benson and Stabler, Liv and El.

_**Are hearing me? Cause I don't wanna miss,  
>That you would drift on memory bliss<br>It was Grafton Street on a rainy night  
>I was down on one knee and you where mine for life<strong>_

When he got a divorce I hoped and prayed that we would end up together, that I could finally have a really chance of being happy. Every man I dated I compared to him and none came close to measuring up. I couldn't believe it when we actually started dating, it was beyoind amazing. Every moment we spent together I cherished.

_**We we're thinking we would never be apart  
>With your name tattooed across my heart<br>Who would have thought it would end up like this?  
>Where everything we talked about is gone<br>And the only chance we have of moving on**_

_**Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong**_

_**Before the worst, before we met  
>Before our hearts decide<br>It's time to love again  
>Before too late, before too long<br>Lets try to take it back  
>Before it all went wrong<strong>_

For months we dated and remained partners, together we were unstopable. Our closure rate at work was higher then before and our relationship was a strong as ever. Together we attended his daughters soccer games and his sons baseball games, I loved being apart of his world. I let myself think I would finally be happy, that was the biggest mistake I have ever made.

_**If the clouds don't clear  
>Then we'll rise above it, we'll rise above it<br>Heavens gate is so near  
>Come walk with me through<br>Just like we used to, just like we used to**_

Things suddenly went from bad to worse, the relationship ended. He had gotten Kathy pregant. I would never have thought he would cheat on me. He promised he would never hurt me, guess he lied.

_**Lets take it back  
>Before it all went wrong<strong>_

_**Before the worst, before we met  
>Before our hearts decide<br>It's time to love again  
>Before too late, before too long<br>Lets try to take it back  
>Before it all went wrong<br>**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
>Just praying to a God that I don't believe in<br>'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
>'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even<strong>_

As hard as I had tried not to let the end of the relationship break me the truth is that it is slowly killing me. She cheated on him numerous times and it tore him up. Then he cheats on me and gets her pregnant how is that fair? Why am I the only one who never gets what I want, I'm sick of having my heart broken

_**Her best days will be some of my worst  
>She finally met a man that's gonna put her first<br>While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
>'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no<strong>_

She is two months pregnant with his child, she has everything I ever wanted. I cant believe how stupid I was to think that he was finally done with her. He went back to her twice before. He has always put her before me. She is going to have his baby, the baby we were supposed to have

_**What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,  
>And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok<br>I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
>I'm falling to pieces<strong>_

The first week after you left was the hardest. I didn't know where to begin you had always been there for me for 12 years. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, for us to be happy. But apparently only she could make you happy and that tore me to pieces

_**They say bad things happen for a reason  
>But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding<br>'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
>And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no<strong>_

The universe must really hate me to finally allow me to think I was going to be happy and then suddenly rip it out from under me. I guess plain and simple It hurts that you moved on so quickly and that you went back to her of all people. _****_

_**What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,  
>And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok<br>I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
>I'm falling to pieces, yeah,<br>I'm falling to pieces  
>One still in love while the other one's leaving<br>I'm falling to pieces  
>('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)<strong>_

As much as I try to deny that you exist or try to hate you I cant. You were once my best friend, lover, partner and a huge part of my life. So part of me is glad that your ok. But you really screwed me over I don't think I will ever fall out of love with you or love someone the way I love you 

_**Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
>You took your suitcase, I took the blame.<br>Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh  
>'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name.<strong>_

_****_You wanted the best of both worlds, you had both of our hearts, you chose to break mine into a million pieces, beyond repair. You became distant and then blamed me and my inability to open up for cheating.

_**I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
>Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in<br>'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
>'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break<br>No it don't break  
>No it don't break even no<strong>_

They say that time heals all wounds. You broke your promise, you lied, you cheated, you broke my heart into a million pieces and didn't even care. All you cared about was Kathy and the stupid thing is that I had let myself think that you cared for me as much as I cared for you. I will probably never love another man like I loved you. My hopes and dreams for a family with a man who truly loves me fade with each passing day. You had the final part of my heart and you broke, now im falling to pieces.

_**I'm falling to pieces yeah  
>(Oh I'm glad your okay)<br>I'm falling to pieces yeah  
>(One still in love while the other ones leaving)<br>I'm falling to pieces  
>('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)<br>Oh it don't break even no  
>Oh it don't break even no<br>Oh it don't break even no**_


End file.
